Monday, December 18, 2006

School Holiday Movie Community Service Announcement

A review of Eragon by my sister.

One day - I swear by all the powers of the air and the sky - that a
young GIRL will be born to clean skinned anonymity in a peaceful rural
village where the long arm/clutches/tentacles of the evil
overlord/king/wizard/madman will reach only rarely but when they do will
result in the leaving of a beloved sibling/father/friend under
sad/unfortunate/tragic circumstances.

Bereft, the young leather clad girl will unwittingly find a
talisman/staff/egg/sword/book which will open to her new worlds of
seeing and thinking. Initially unwilling to use the mighty
powers/skills she discovers she has/was born to/just got lucky with, a
kindly/fierce mentor (with a dark, sad secret past) will appear and
guide her on the path to greatness/heroism/bardic tales of
bravery/really lame armour. Along the way she will also gather an
unlikely group of friends/allies/animatronic pals to aid her - although
hopefully none of them will sing.

There will be a mighty battle, and someone nasty will die - although it
will look bad for our heroes there for a while.

Rightness and goodness will finally triumph and the people will be free
to wear bad/over-the-top/glittery/aluminium costumes once again.

And because girls rule, the way will NOT be left open for a sequel in
such a blatant way that will cause normally 'good' children to swear
loudly and proclaim 'NO WAY - THAT ISN'T FAIR' and stomp off out of the
cinema in a huff.

CGI dragon looked cool tho'

No comments: